Unreasonable doubt

I’m so freaking pissed.

I just came home, as in like 5 minutes ago?, from a mini high school reunion. We dined out then proceeded to a classmate’s home to continue the fun. Their house was enormous, with an entertainment room even. Much food and drink was available as well. Soooo awesome~

But that’s not the point.

The point stands that the party is still ongoing but here I am, at home, in my bed, wallowing in depression.


Why can’t I be just a “cool kid” for once and not worry about going home late and all that stuff?? It’s always like this. You would think my being employed and being financially okay will soothe my parents’ kaOAhan but no – it even became worse.

Of course, I understand their viewpoint. I know the world is harsh, people are gonna be dangerous but isn’t the fact alone that I know these circumstances make me one to be trusted?

You can curse me all you want but don’t point fingers at me especially about things that I didn’t do and will not ever think of doing.

And you even have misconceptions because I’m a female going home at this time? For God’s sake, I’m not Cinderella! Lels but srsly, it just frustrates me that I’m accused of illicit things when I’m not that kind of person at all. I’m not Miss Goody but I’m not Wasted, Flirty Party Girl too. No wayyy.

It sucks when you’re having fun and just, it gets cut, you know? Sometimes I just think, “Maybe I should have gone away to work” blah blah. I just want to feel free. The more you’re controlled, the more you’ll rebel, don’t you think?

Comparing myself to my classmates, grabe, they weren’t even worried about going home. Chatting, eating, drinking, playing, dancing – they were doing all that in a fashion of immense chill and calmness. No worries. When will I ever live like that? I always feel so left out.

It strikes me a lot how unfair life is at the moment. My life. Because I live in a faraway location of darkness and danger, with scary people out to get to you. But am I supposed to stop my life because of them? Should I just stay at home and stay “safe” all the time?

Drive your own car.
Have a boyfriend.
Get a lover with his own vehicle.

Hahahaha I’ve become so insane to think of such. I really want to hang out with friends and not have to worry about the time. Should I consider any of them…


I feel remorseful and I just want to sleep and forget all this mess. But aha! Year opening meeting early tomorrow for work. Oh, well. What a welcome distraction. 🆗


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